Calming Your Anxious Mind Page 7
However, because of the old habit-energies of distraction and inattention—powerful tendencies we all face that break our connection with the present moment and ourselves—it is important to make a commitment to being mindful and to make the effort to pay attention on purpose in daily life. Meditation is both a skill and an art. There is skill that comes with practice as you learn different methods to establish attention and unfold awareness, especially in difficult moments. And, meditation is an art, perfected through experience, for it takes wisdom and experience to see each situation clearly, and to choose from the many meditation methods available one that will best support you in meeting that situation.
Perhaps the best way to teach yourself both the skills and the art of mindfulness meditation is by building a stable and dependable practice.
There is much in this book to help you start your practice and to sustain it when the inevitable obstacles and hindrances arise. However, it is you who must actually do the practice. Reading about it without practicing will not be very useful.
Meditation Is Inclusive & Accessible
Buddhists have been practicing meditation, especially mindfulness meditation, for over 2,500 years, and have amassed quite a bit of useful information about how to do it. It is this accumulated experience and wisdom that informs the way mindfulness is taught in this book.
Although the meditation methods in this book do have roots in Buddhist traditions, the actual practices are quite generic. They require no special belief system or spiritual or religious views. Mindfulness is not bound to any spiritual or religious form.
Jon Kabat-Zinn, in Full Catastrophe Living (1990), offers this definition of mindfulness: “Simply put, mindfulness is moment-to-moment awareness. It is cultivated by purposefully paying attention to things we ordinarily never give a moment’s thought to. It is a systematic approach to developing new kinds of control and wisdom in our lives, based on our inner capacities for relaxation, paying attention, awareness, and insight” (2).
Experience is your best teacher. Give yourself this experience of mindfulness by building your own meditation practice. Through practice, you can discover a great, still center of awareness within that both includes and contains the ever-changing and intense flow of life. As you increasingly learn to access this inner stillness, patterns of reactivity and identification with experience will soften, and you will find more choices and greater harmony with life, even the challenging moments.
A Closer Look at Mindfulness
To better understand how mindfulness-based meditation works, let’s take a closer look at the different aspects of mindfulness.
Mindfulness as the Capacity for Accurate Reflection
Mindfulness can be thought of as a capacity for accurate reflection that all human beings possess. Unfortunately, many people do not recognize that they have this capacity or that they could and should develop it. Meditation teacher Larry Rosenberg (1998) speaks to this view of mindfulness.
We human beings have an extraordinary capacity, which we sometimes take for granted until it is called to our attention: unlike other beings in the world who are living out their lives, we have the ability to be conscious of that process as we do so. Mindfulness is often likened to a mirror; it simply reflects what is there. It is not a process of thinking; it is preconceptual , before thought. One can be mindful of thought. There is all the difference in the world in thinking and knowing that thought is happening, as thoughts chase each other through the mind and the process is mirrored back to us. (15)
Mindfulness is always there as a potential, but you may not always (or even often) be using it. It is precisely because you fail to recognize and use this potential to be aware that you miss so much of your life and are so imprisoned by habitual ways of perceiving, thinking, feeling, and acting .
Mindfulness as a Quality
Mindfulness is sometimes discussed as a quality rather than a capacity.
Nonjudgment & Openness
As a quality, mindfulness is said to have certain characteristics, including nonjudging and not interfering, or allowing. Mindfulness is also described as nonstriving, not rejecting, and not denying.
Mindfulness opens to and includes whatever arises, just as the mirror reflects whatever comes before it. Mindfulness is not for or against anything. It doesn’t try to add or subtract, to improve or change in any way.
Kindness & Intimacy
Intimacy and kindness are other important characteristics associated with mindfulness as it is practiced and developed through meditation.
Rosenberg (1998) recalls the thirteenth-century Zen teacher Dogen, who described the awakened mind as the mind “intimate with all things” (16). This kind of intimacy means not being detached or separate from what is happening right now, in this moment, but rather being awake, open for the direct experience of life in the midst of it. Practicing mindfulness, you are not aloof or distant but awake and in contact with experience as it happens.
Kindness is a vital characteristic of mindfulness. Many meditation teachers emphasize the importance of having a friendly or welcoming spirit toward whatever arises when practicing mindfulness.
The welcoming spirit of kindness or friendliness helps you to be more open to moment-by-moment experience. It also helps you overcome the deeply rooted habits of judging and aversion that often operate strongly just out of awareness and interfere with your being present and paying attention on purpose.
The popular meditation teacher Thich Nhat Hanh invites his students to smile more when meditating. In his 1987 book Being Peace , he tells us that “life is both dreadful and wonderful. To practice meditation is to be in touch with both aspects. Please do not think we must be solemn in order to meditate. In fact, to meditate well, we have to smile a lot” (4). He continues, “This is the only moment that is real. To be here now, and enjoy the present moment is our most important task.”
Stillness & Silence
Practicing mindfulness, you may begin to notice that a sense of stillness is discernible within. You have entered a new territory or dimension—one of vast silence. This experience of stillness and silence can be uncomfortable at first, but is worth getting to know. It will not harm you!
The popular spiritual teacher Eckhart Tolle, author of The Power of Now , Stillness Speaks (Namaste Publishing, 2003), and A New Earth (Dutton, 2005) , has noted, “beauty arises in the stillness of your presence” (Tolle 1999, 79). He speaks here to the majesty and beauty of the world around us, but also to the mystery of our deepest essence as human beings, both of which are accessible through our presence and the stillness that he points to as always available.
Meditation teacher Christina Feldman, in her beautiful book Silence (2003), describes silence not as the opposite of sound, but as a dimension of consciousness that actually contains sound. You may find this view of silence—as a dimension or actual territory to be inhabited—strange or upsetting. That is fine, but if you let yourself explore it a bit, you will likely find that the sense of silence grows as you meditate. Over time, you may begin to notice that the silence may actually be a kind of ground from which experience emerges and to which it returns.
Attention to these qualities of stillness and silence as they emerge and strengthen in meditation can be a powerful aid to your meditation practice. Later in this book, in chapter 15, you will find more discussion and some practice suggestions for working more explicitly with the qualities of stillness and silence .
Facing Pain with Compassion
Intimacy and inclusiveness mean that it takes courage to practice mindfulness. As awareness of what is here grows, the awareness of painful and unpleasant things also grows. It can take courage and endurance to face such pain. This raises the same choice Pema Chödrön described: will you become hardened and resentful, or softer and open? Compassion is a willingness to stay present and open to the pain that arises, in the hope that presence might bring relief.
You May Feel Worse Before You Feel Better
Because mindfulness practice increases your awareness of and sensitivity to everything —including pain and fear—you should be aware that you may actually feel worse in the beginning. However, this is only a stage in the process of healing and transformation. As your meditation practice strengthens, you will learn to relax and stay present even when anxiety, fear, and panic move through the present moment. This is not an act of willpower, but a capacity that you develop through meditation.
Finding Your Core of Openhearted Awareness
One of the fruits of mindfulness practice is the discovery, over time, of the core of steadiness and harmony at your center. This core is dependable, unwavering, and a source of inner peace. Standing at this core, relating to experience—even painful experience—from this place, you have an increased capacity to remain present.
With mindfulness, even the most disturbing sensations, feelings, thoughts, and experiences—including fear, anxiety, panic, and worry—can be viewed from a wider perspective as passing events in the mind rather than as “us” or as necessarily true. By simply being present in this way, you support your own deep healing, and you will discover and dwell more steadily in your own inner space of peace and equanimity .
Meditation teachers often refer to mindfulness as heartfulness to reflect these characteristics of intimacy and kindness. Here it is helpful to note the limitations of the English word mindfulness , with its emphasis on mind and thoughts. Consider that the character in Chinese that means mindfulness has two parts: the upper part means now , and the lower part means either mind or heart .
From this perspective of heartfulness, perhaps another word for mindfulness might be presence . To practice presence means to be here with the essence of your being. When you are not here, are distracted, you are essentially not here. So to be mindful means to be here with openhearted awareness, essentially and completely, in the present moment.
What Is Meditation?
As I am using the term in this book, mindfulness is developed through meditation. Before going further it is therefore important to be clear about what meditation is and how that term is used in this book.
Meditation teacher Christina Feldman (1998, 2) offers a valuable insight into the meaning of meditation practice: “There are several core principles which run through all meditative disciplines. Attention, awareness, understanding, and compassion form the basic skeleton of all systems of meditation.”
Attention is “the means of establishing ourselves in the present moment.”
Awareness “develops a consciousness that is light, unburdened, sensitive, and clear. It provides an inner environment that is intuitive and still.”
Understanding “is born of the direct and immediate perception of our inner and outer worlds.” It provides “the possibility of traveling new pathways in our lives and is part of the tapestry of deepening wisdom.”
Compassion directs our kind, nonjudging attention to ourselves and then extends it to every living thing .
Thus, meditation can be understood as a process of transformation involving:
directing attention in a calm and steady way
developing an awareness that is light and clear
gaining understanding and wisdom about yourself and life
having the embedded qualities of kindness and compassion
There are literally thousands of ways to practice meditation. As it has been developed as a spiritual practice, the purpose of meditation has been to transform and awaken us as human beings. Through practice, experiential learning occurs. This informs and inspires transformation and awakening. The practice of meditation is equally powerful as a way to transform your experience of anxiety, fear, and panic.
The many different meditation practices may be grouped into two general categories: concentrative practices, which emphasize single-pointed or narrow attention, and mindfulness practices, which emphasize awareness or mindfulness. As we’ll see, mindfulness practices are uniquely suited to addressing fear and anxiety because they emphasize taking a different approach to fear and anxiety in the present moment.
Of the four major methods of meditation researched in the past twenty-five years or so by Western medical science, three (transcendental meditation, respiratory one method, and clinically standardized meditation) emphasize the concentrative approach. Mindfulness meditation is different in that it emphasizes awareness.
Mindfulness benefits from the ability to concentrate or focus attention, but is not the same as concentration. And, in practice, all meditation methods must employ some combination of concentration and awareness. However, knowing the difference in emphasis between concentrative and mindfulness approaches will help you understand why mindfulness meditation is so powerful in managing anxiety .
Concentrative Approaches
To practice meditation in a way that emphasizes the concentration of attention, you would usually take a narrow focus on a single object. The object could be internal or external. The object could be the sensation of your breath, or it could be a sound outside of you. It could be the repetition in your mind of a simple phrase or word.
If the context is spiritual or religious, this phrase might be a meaningful or sacred one, even a prayer. Or, in a spiritual context, you might fix your attention on an external object such as a sacred figure, a painting, or a burning candle. If the purpose and context of the meditation practice is health-based (for instance, to lower blood pressure), then the object of concentrated attention is typically more everyday or neutral, such as the breath sensation or a sound or repeated phrase without specific religious or spiritual meaning.
In practices that emphasize concentrated attention, when the attention wanders or is drawn away from the object, the practitioner gently returns attention to the object. Although the meditator may notice where the attention goes, the practice is not to dwell there, but to return attention as gently and patiently as possible. This must be done literally thousands of times and is viewed as necessary in order to train the mind. It is by concentrating attention that the relaxation response is elicited.
Mindfulness Approaches
The second category of meditation practices emphasizes awareness or mindfulness. Mindfulness meditation involves paying attention in a way so as to be more aware of the present moment and all that is here now, without judgment. Mindfulness is a practice that is not about thinking but is nonconceptual.
Mindfulness builds on your innate capacity for knowing what is here, now, including thoughts. This awareness is cultivated by paying attention on purpose, broadly, deeply, and without judgment of whatever arises in the present moment, both inside and outside your skin. True present-moment awareness is the key to transforming your relationship to anxiety. It allows you to observe your anxious thoughts without judgment, recognize them simply as thoughts arising in this moment, and maintain a calm center that is not defined by fear.
What Meditation Is Not
With so many ideas circulating about meditation, it is important to consider some of the things mindfulness meditation is not.
Meditation is not “positive thinking.” In fact, it is not thinking at all, but includes paying attention to thinking. In mindfulness practice, thoughts become objects of attention just like everything else.
Meditation is not just another relaxation technique. Although it is supported by relaxation and calm, mindfulness meditation is far more than that. Mindfulness meditation seeks increased awareness, and that awareness brings wisdom and freedom from habitual reactions.
Mindfulness practice does not mean going into a trance. You are not trying to leave or change the experience in this moment; rather, you are trying to stay present with it.
Meditation does not mean trying to “blank your mind.” By practicing mindfulness, you become more conscious and will have a deeper connection with yourself and life, moment by moment.
Meditation is not just for priests, monks, and nuns. You don’t have to do or be anything special. Meditation is a way of r
emembering and reconnecting with the natural quality of awareness and presence all humans have.
Meditation is not selfish. Self-full might be a better word to describe the changes that come with mindfulness meditation. True, you can neglect your duties and relationships in the name of meditation, but this is a distortion of meditation. As you practice mindfulness meditation correctly, you will become more aware, and others will be more likely to experience you as helpful, present, and compassionate .
Keep in Mind
The meditation practices included in this book are based on the key principles of attention, awareness, nonjudgment, and openheartedness. As we move forward, we will see how this approach can guide us in applying mindfulness, kindness, and compassion to the experiences of fear, anxiety, and panic.
The goal of this book is to help you build and sustain a daily mindfulness meditation practice and bring it forward in your everyday life. As you do that, you will teach yourself to manage fear, anxiety, and panic most effectively.
Chapter 6
Your Attitude Is Important
A rose needs certain conditions if it is to flower. Good soil, sunlight, air, moisture, proper nutrition, and protection from pests are some of the key ingredients. Likewise, anyone starting or maintaining a meditation practice needs certain conditions if their practice is to thrive.
A main goal in this book is to help you establish a strong and supportive daily mindfulness meditation practice. Such a practice will help you overcome the powerful intrusions of fear, anxiety, and panic into the routines of daily life.